Over the past few months I have been working on projects here and there, doing a little bit of art and writing here and there, trying to spark the creative flames while trying to be productive with some end in sight that will help making stepping stones as what I envision Black Tent Productions to be.
You know what you want to do, and what you need to do and what you hope to do, but sometimes you feel like you're on that gerbil treadmill wheel from hell. As fast and hard as you can run you it seems like your not getting anywhere and sometimes you get knocked back as your world spins around your head.
You get up and brush yourself off and wonder why in the hell are you doing this to yourself, but it's not in you to give up because being an artist, wanting to create and to inspire is like breathing to you.
It's much like being a parent. You love your kids and there's nothing that you wouldn't do for them, but there are those moments when your kid does something or is just driving you nuts, you wonder what were you thinking, especially when you see yourself staring you down, because at one time you were your kid looking right back at you. I know, my son is fifteen and I love him to death, but sometimes he makes me want to pull my hair out, that is if I had any and I make him shake his head and want to scream bloody murder. We can drive each other mad, but that's just being family.
But much like my son and myself, our art is our children. It comes from our blood, sweat and tears that we pour into our art without regret or a hint of hesitation. We put ourselves out there in the world, bleeding out in our art that have we created. We put our and ourselves out into the world hoping and praying for the best to make the world a better place. Just like being a father, there are things that I wish that I could have done better, well maybe differently. Being a parent, you have the best intentions, trying to do the best you can and wishing the things that you have done and the words that you said have never been said or done. But there is no take backs, it's learn as you live and make the best of it and learn from it, if you are wise enough to know better. As an artist and in our art, there are things that we wish we could do better, or could have done, but now it is what it is and you can only move forward. Perfectionism is an artists downfall and it will poison your art.
But it takes time and patience, lots and lots of patience to watch it comes to full blossom while we hold our breath waiting to see what impact it will have in time. But if you try to hard, if you try to force it and bend it your will, it no longer is enjoyable. Then your art becomes your tormentor and personal hell if you're not careful.
So you have to wait and be patient while you remain resilient and constant in your artistic pursuit. It's not an overnight success, it's a life-time journey, all with it's ups and downs.
It's a learning curve at best, but last night I went to First Friday in Olde Town Fredericksburg and saw Othello play where I met actors who were intrigued with Black Tent Productions and my vision of it. Earlier I met two fellows at Hardies and they were enticed by my thoughts and ideas. The day before I chanced upon another fellow that started out with me saying hello to his dog Christian at Panera Breads and I learned that he has contacts in New York and does social media and liked the idea of BTP.
Now whether or not all the dots will connect, I don't know. I can only hope while working towards that goal. But the fact that I am working on 'Eye of the Needle' play that have stuck on and these happy little moments of Fates unraveling before me leaves me prospectively optimistic about the outcome.
So a little bit of patience and hopeful persistence carried a long way. You just have to keep working at it and never give up on yourself or your dream, no matter how mad the world may think you to be.
Gavion E. Chandler~
'Man is his own devil.'